Class Five Planet

[charamei]

Title: Class Five Planet
Rating: PG
Genre: Humour
Characters/Pairings: A much put-upon captain, a guy named Greb, and some other random alien. Cameos from Mr Smith, Torchwood, UNIT and the Doctor.
Wordcount: 309
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who; I'm just playing in the BBC's sandbox for fun and practice.

Summary: Entering the Earth's orbit is a risky business.



"All right, sir, coming into orbit around Sol 3 now."

"Good. Now, this is a Class Five planet, so I want everyone to be discreet. We're only here to fix the engine, remember -"

"Um, sir?"

"What is it, Greb?"

"Sir, a zylock seems to be downloading our computer files."

"A zylock?"

"Yes, sir. I'm trying to correct to shut it out..."

"Sir, we're being hailed."

"By the zylock?"

"No, sir. Something called 'Torchwood'. They say can we leave, we're scaring the locals."

"Tell them why we're here."

"Right, sir."

"Zylock's detached itself, sir. Seems to have got what it wanted."

"Good. Bit odd, a zylock on a Class Five planet..."

"Sir, Torchwood say they'll send co-ordinates for us to land on, and someone to help fix the ship, but we've got to go quickly because this is a Class Five planet..."

"But they have a zylock!"

"It's possible they don't know that, sir. Oh, hold on, we're being hailed again... something called UNIT."

"And what do they want?"

"Um, they say to leave or they'll open fire, sir."

"This is a Class Five planet!"

"Do they know that?"

"Shut up, Greb."

"Right, sir. ...Oh, ke'azath, sir, look out the window!"

"Greb, I'm warning you -"

"I mean it, sir, look."

"Is that..."

"The blue box, sir."

"...Class Five planet."

"Yes, sir."

"Sol 4 is uninhabited, right?"

"Well, I heard something about Ice Warriors, sir..."

"We'll take the chance. Class Five planet, my left tentacle...!"
/\/\/\