Fic: Merlin: Perfume and Pumpkins
Nov. 16th, 2010 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
charameiBecause S03 is silly.
Title: Perfume and Pumpkins
Rating: PG
Genre: Humour
Characters/Pairings: Merlin, Arthur, a Mystery Woman
Wordcount: 852
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Summary: Arthur is besotted. Again.
She was a mystery woman, a vision in white lace and diamonds, and from the moment her perfume - lavender, rose, and something undefinable - touched his nostrils when she curtseyed to him at the first dance, Arthur knew he wanted no other. He spent the whole night watching her chat daintily with the ladies of the court, dance delicately with men who lusted after her as much as Arthur himself did, and check the clock anxiously. Occasionally her heard her murmur something about the stroke of midnight.
His chin propped up on one hand, he reached out and signalled to Merlin without looking away from her cascading golden tresses. It didn't hurt that she was infinitely prettier than Merlin.
"I don't know her name, if that's what this is about." Merlin sounded a little harried, but Arthur was too wrapped up in the tinkling sound of the beauty's laugh to care.
"She's so beautiful," he said.
"Yes," Merlin said. "She is."
"I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life, Merlin. Her hair, her clothes, the way she moves, her perfume. I've never smelled anything like it before."
"Er, yes," Merlin said, and then, very diplomatically, "I think... you've been enchanted again."
"Of course I have, clotpole," Arthur sighed, as the mystery woman lifted up her skirt to reveal a petite, perfect foot clad in a glass slipper. "Check my chambers and hers, and inform the guards and Gwen. I can't -"
"- take your eyes off her, I'd noticed," Merlin said, and left.
He was back within five bats of the lady's eyelashes. "It might be the perfume. I've never smelled anything like it before."
"Could be," Arthur said. She'd just made Morgana smile. Morgana liked her! She was perfect in every way. He could still smell that wonderful aroma... "Take a sample of it to Gaius."
"Right," Merlin said, and left again.
The lady began heading Arthur's way, smiling demurely at him. He gazed at her in fascination as she reached the table and leant over it, exposing him to both her cavernous cleavage and another whiff of that seductive perfume.
He loved her even more.
"A prince should never be alone at a party," she said in a voice that almost stopped his heart with love. "Come dance with me a while? I fear I have not much time left."
"How could I ever resist?" Arthur asked, and they danced until the stroke of midnight, when she ran off and disappeared as if into thin air.
When he got back to his chambers, Merlin was waiting, covered in orange slime and pumpkin seeds. "I see you escaped your beloved, then."
"She ran off," Arthur said, around the lump that formed in his throat whenever he thought of her cruel abandonment. "We really must tighten the security around the castle. I can hardly believe the number of tunnels these people disappear into."
"Wait, you mean she's not using her chambers?"
"Doesn't look like it. What happened to you, anyway? Did you lose a fight with a gourd?"
"Yes," Merlin said quickly. "Yes, that was exactly what happened. I, er, knocked something and a pumpkin fell on me."
"Why do I keep you around, anyway?"
Merlin grinned at him, and held up a small bottle of a familiar blue liquid. "Because I have Gaius's one-size-fits-all love spell antidote right here."
"Oh, thank God." Arthur held out a hand, noticing how empty it was without hers in it. "Give it to me."
"What's the magic word?"
"Give it to me or I will see to it that you bathe in rotting pumpkin for a month."
Merlin saw sense and and handed the bottle over. Arthur downed it in one; it worked better if you did that, and besides, the stuff tasted foul.
He gave an explosive sneeze as the captivating scent of exotic perfume vanished form his nose, dropped the bottle back on the table, and stood. "Thank you, Merlin. Did you check my bed for magic?"
"Of course," Merlin said. "There actually weren't any spells under your mattress tonight. Oh, except this." He held up a single dainty glass shoe. "It was on your pillow. I was going to smash it."
"Do. And for goodness' sake wash that pumpkin off. You smell like a Jack O'Lantern."
"She had mice, too," Merlin said cheerfully, as he headed for the door. "In cages. I let them go, poor things."
Arthur rolled his eyes and turned over, but before he'd so much as closed his eyes, a thought occurred and he looked back at Merlin suspiciously. "You know, you never seem to be affected by these people."
"Aren't I?" Merlin shrugged. "Just lucky, I guess." He was backing out of the door as he spoke. "Good night."
"Good night," Arthur said, and blew out his candle as the door clicked shut. Trust him to pick a serving-boy who liked men. On the other hand, it had its uses with all these women turning up and casting love spells all over the place, and it wasn't as if he wasn't worthy of the attention. He was in fine shape.
Besides, he was hardly in danger of any sort of magic from Merlin.
Title: Perfume and Pumpkins
Rating: PG
Genre: Humour
Characters/Pairings: Merlin, Arthur, a Mystery Woman
Wordcount: 852
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Summary: Arthur is besotted. Again.
She was a mystery woman, a vision in white lace and diamonds, and from the moment her perfume - lavender, rose, and something undefinable - touched his nostrils when she curtseyed to him at the first dance, Arthur knew he wanted no other. He spent the whole night watching her chat daintily with the ladies of the court, dance delicately with men who lusted after her as much as Arthur himself did, and check the clock anxiously. Occasionally her heard her murmur something about the stroke of midnight.
His chin propped up on one hand, he reached out and signalled to Merlin without looking away from her cascading golden tresses. It didn't hurt that she was infinitely prettier than Merlin.
"I don't know her name, if that's what this is about." Merlin sounded a little harried, but Arthur was too wrapped up in the tinkling sound of the beauty's laugh to care.
"She's so beautiful," he said.
"Yes," Merlin said. "She is."
"I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life, Merlin. Her hair, her clothes, the way she moves, her perfume. I've never smelled anything like it before."
"Er, yes," Merlin said, and then, very diplomatically, "I think... you've been enchanted again."
"Of course I have, clotpole," Arthur sighed, as the mystery woman lifted up her skirt to reveal a petite, perfect foot clad in a glass slipper. "Check my chambers and hers, and inform the guards and Gwen. I can't -"
"- take your eyes off her, I'd noticed," Merlin said, and left.
He was back within five bats of the lady's eyelashes. "It might be the perfume. I've never smelled anything like it before."
"Could be," Arthur said. She'd just made Morgana smile. Morgana liked her! She was perfect in every way. He could still smell that wonderful aroma... "Take a sample of it to Gaius."
"Right," Merlin said, and left again.
The lady began heading Arthur's way, smiling demurely at him. He gazed at her in fascination as she reached the table and leant over it, exposing him to both her cavernous cleavage and another whiff of that seductive perfume.
He loved her even more.
"A prince should never be alone at a party," she said in a voice that almost stopped his heart with love. "Come dance with me a while? I fear I have not much time left."
"How could I ever resist?" Arthur asked, and they danced until the stroke of midnight, when she ran off and disappeared as if into thin air.
When he got back to his chambers, Merlin was waiting, covered in orange slime and pumpkin seeds. "I see you escaped your beloved, then."
"She ran off," Arthur said, around the lump that formed in his throat whenever he thought of her cruel abandonment. "We really must tighten the security around the castle. I can hardly believe the number of tunnels these people disappear into."
"Wait, you mean she's not using her chambers?"
"Doesn't look like it. What happened to you, anyway? Did you lose a fight with a gourd?"
"Yes," Merlin said quickly. "Yes, that was exactly what happened. I, er, knocked something and a pumpkin fell on me."
"Why do I keep you around, anyway?"
Merlin grinned at him, and held up a small bottle of a familiar blue liquid. "Because I have Gaius's one-size-fits-all love spell antidote right here."
"Oh, thank God." Arthur held out a hand, noticing how empty it was without hers in it. "Give it to me."
"What's the magic word?"
"Give it to me or I will see to it that you bathe in rotting pumpkin for a month."
Merlin saw sense and and handed the bottle over. Arthur downed it in one; it worked better if you did that, and besides, the stuff tasted foul.
He gave an explosive sneeze as the captivating scent of exotic perfume vanished form his nose, dropped the bottle back on the table, and stood. "Thank you, Merlin. Did you check my bed for magic?"
"Of course," Merlin said. "There actually weren't any spells under your mattress tonight. Oh, except this." He held up a single dainty glass shoe. "It was on your pillow. I was going to smash it."
"Do. And for goodness' sake wash that pumpkin off. You smell like a Jack O'Lantern."
"She had mice, too," Merlin said cheerfully, as he headed for the door. "In cages. I let them go, poor things."
Arthur rolled his eyes and turned over, but before he'd so much as closed his eyes, a thought occurred and he looked back at Merlin suspiciously. "You know, you never seem to be affected by these people."
"Aren't I?" Merlin shrugged. "Just lucky, I guess." He was backing out of the door as he spoke. "Good night."
"Good night," Arthur said, and blew out his candle as the door clicked shut. Trust him to pick a serving-boy who liked men. On the other hand, it had its uses with all these women turning up and casting love spells all over the place, and it wasn't as if he wasn't worthy of the attention. He was in fine shape.
Besides, he was hardly in danger of any sort of magic from Merlin.