My Soul Hath Elbow Room!

The FSS has stopped processing drink driving blood and urine tests and the police are scrambling to find an alternative processor.

Mmmm.

You know what else they're going to stop processing very, very soon? What takes a minimum of fifteen months, which is about how long the FSS has left? What's expensive, time-consuming and vitally important to get right?

Murder.

If the police weren't prepared for the drink driving processing to stop, then there's going to be utter chaos when murder processing stops. (And hopefully, an outcry. We're overdue one.)

If the police aren't already gearing up to take over the roles being steadily dropped by the FSS - which they should be - then this is going to go even worse than I originally anticipated. They should have been working frantically behind the scenes from the moment they knew about this.

I say it again and again: this is a terrible idea brought about by the bad consequences of an even worse idea.

There's a petition. If you're in the UK, please, go sign it. Spread the word. Because it's increasingly clear that not only can the country not function without the FSS (which has always been the case), but the country isn't trying to replace it at all.

And that cannot possibly end well.

The Forensic Science Service is to be wound up with around 1,600 job losses [...] Crime Prevention Minister James Brokenshire said the service was making operational losses of £2 million a month. [...] The company will close by March 2012 at the latest ...
 – The Evening Standard

First thought: my mum is currently working with their biggest competitor to transform their business. Assuming they keep her on, this puts her in an incredibly exciting position.

Second thought: Not sure what this means for my dad's pension.

Third thought: This icon is for all of you folks losing your jobs, all the people who have suffered through the lifetime of political turbulence that I've only heard of through y'all grousing around dinner tables. You kept our streets safe; you have solved some of the biggest crimes in this country's history, and you've fought the government every step of the way to get your job done. Your job was never as glamorous as the police, or the fire brigade, or even the ambulance crews, but my God, we need you just as much. And you've never let us down. You're my heroes.

Fourth thought: Ayup. Can't privatise an emergency service and expect it to make money, Labour, you fucking morons. And now what? The FSS's competitors have been doing this job for barely five years, and it is not just like any other business. Even with the country's best criminologists jumping ship to the competitors, and my brilliant mother helping to keep things afloat, they just won't have the expertise to keep doing the job as well as it was done. The crime rate's going to go up, I guarantee it.

Fifth thought: This has been the background to my entire life, and although I always knew it was going to happen, it feels more than a little weird.

Onwards and upwards, I suppose. To all of the FSS workers out there, those I know and those I don't - I salute you. You are amazing, one and all, and you never deserved this.